I can recommend every amateur historian and Bonapartofile to read Jean-Baptiste Pérès. We chase dreams. Napoleon never existed. He’s fake news. A myth. Just like, say, Santa Claus, Homerus, William Tell, Robin Hood and King Arthur. Forget him.
I once bought Pérès’ essay “Comme quoi Napoléon n’a jamais existé” in French, that language of love, but found an English version today. For the busy Napoleonist, here’s the management summary of this brilliant satire.
Napoleon Bonaparte, of whom so much has been said and written, never even existed. He is nothing more than an allegorical personage. He is the personification of the sun ; and we can prove our assertion by showing how everything related of Napoleon the Great has been borrowed from the great luminary.
Let us see briefly what we are told of this remarkable man. We are told :
– That he was called Napoleon Bonaparte:
– That he was born in an island in the Mediterranean sea ;
– That his mother’s name was Letitia-;
– That he had three sisters and four brothers, three of whom
– That he had two wives, one of whom bore him a son ;
– That he put an end to a great revolution;
– That he had under him sixteen marshals of the empire, twelve
of whom were in active service;
– That he prevailed in the South, and was defeated in the North;
To conclude, that after a reign of twelve years, begun upon his arrival from the East, he departed, and disappeared in the Western seas.
It remains for us to ascertain whether these various details are borrowed from the sun, and we hope that every reader of this disquisition will rise convinced that this is the case.
What’s In A Name?
Pérès notes that Sun=Apollo and Napoleon sounds like Apollo. “It is unquestionable that the word Apollo means Exterminator; and it seems that this name was given by the Greeks to the sun on account of the injury it did them before Troy, where a part of their army perished from the excessive heat
(…).Now, Apollo is the same word as Apoleon. They are derived from Apollyo, or Apoleo, two Greek verbs which are really the same, and which mean ” destroy,” ” kill.” ” exterminate.”
But why is it N Apoleon, Apollo with an N? Pérès:
(…) the real name of this supposed hero was Neapoleon, or Neapolion. This is more particularly to be seen on the column of the Place Vendome. Now, this extra syllable makes no difference whatever. The svllable, no doubt, like the rest of the name, is Greek ; and in Greek ne, or nai, is one of the strongest affirmations, equivalent to our veritably, or yea. Whence it follows that Napoleon means Veritable Exterminator, Veritable Apollo ; it means, in truth, the sun.
Bonaparte is, of course, the good part, in other words, “the light”, as opposed to malaparte, darkness.
Born In The Bayou
Just like Apollo, Napoleon was born on an island in the Mediterranean. Delos wonderfully corresponds to the mythical island described in Greek mythology.
Pausanias, it is true, calls Apollo an Egyptian divinity (…) He designed to inform us that the Egyptians worshipped Apollo, and that establishes yet another connection between Napoleon and the sun; for Napoleon is said to have been held in Egypt to be invested with supernatural qualities, to have been regarded as the friend of Mahomet, and to have received homage partaking of the nature of adoration.
Son of Leto, aka The Dawn
Napoleon’s mother was named Letitia, which is the Roman translation of Leto, the mother of Apollo, Pérès writes. Napoleon had 3 sisters – corresponding with the three Graces from Greek mythology.
Brother Of The Four Seasons
Napoleon had four brothers: three were king and one of them a Prince (Lucien, Prince of Canino).
Of Napoleon’s four brothers, three, they tell us, were kings; these three kings are Spring, who reigns over the flowers; Summer, who reigns over the harvest; and Autumn, who reigns over the fruit. As these three seasons derive all their potent influence from the sun, we are told that Napoleon’s three brothers held
their sovereignty at his hands, and reigned only by his authority. And when it is added that of Napoleon’s four brothers one was not a king, it is because one of the four seasons Winter, reigns over nothing.
Napoleon Gave Us Colour
Pérès writes how the winds come “from northern climes, discolor our land, and cover it with a detested whiteness”
This has given rise to the fabulous account of the invasion of the northern nations into France, where they are said to have done away with a parti-colored flag adorning it. and to have substituted a white one which entirely covered it, after the exile of the fabulous Napoleon. It would be idle to repeat that this is merely emblematical of the rime that the winds from the north produce in the winter, and which obliterates the charming colors that the sun produced in our land, before he waned and departed from us. It is easy to see the analogy of all these things with the ingenious fables conceived in our century.
Husband Of The Moon And The Earth
According to these same fables, Napoleon had two wives; hence two wives have been attributed to the sun. These two wives are the moon and the earth : the moon according to the Greeks (Plutarch is our authority), and the earth according to the Egyptians
(…) Even so the birth of the supposed son of Napoleon has been fixed at the 2Oth of March, the period of the vernal equinox, because in the spring agricultural produce undergoes its most important phase
Napoleon’s French Revolution is Apollo’s Python
Napoleon ended the terror, aka the “Hydra of the French Revolution”. Apollo slew the Python, an enormous Serpent, as first exploit. Another similarity, Pérès writes. Besides,
revolution is obviously derived from the Latin word rwolutus, which denotes a curled-up serpent. The Revolution is the Python, neither more nor less.
The Twelve Marshals Of The Zodiac
The celebrated warrior of the nineteenth century had under him, we are told, twelve marshals at the head of his armies, and four were not in active service. Now, the twelve first are obviously the twelve signs of the zodiac, marching under the orders of the sun Napoleon (…) The four others, in all probability, are the four cardinal points, which, fixed amid universal motion, are very well symbolised by the inactivity of which we have spoken. Thus, all these marshals, active and inactive, are purely symbolical beings, with no more reality than their leader.
Napoleon Followed The Course Of The Sun
Pérès writes that we are told that “this leader of so many brilliant armies overran in triumph the countries of the south, but that, having penetrated too far north, he was there unable to maintain himself. Now, these details precisely apply to the sun’s course.”
This, then, is the material from which has been drawn Napoleon’s imaginary northern expedition to Moscow, together with the humiliating retreat by which it is said to have been followed. Thus everything we have been told of the success or defeat of this strange warrior is nothing more than a series of allusions to the course of the sun. Finally, and this needs no explanation, the sun rises in
the east and sets in the west, as all the world knows (…)That, then, is all we are to understand when we are told that Napoleon came by sea from the east (Egypt) to reign over France, and that he disappeared in the western seas after a reign of twelve years. The twelve years are nothing more than the twelve hours of the day during which the sun shines on the horizon.
Napoleon is nothing more than an image of the sun. And in truth he is nothing more, Pérès concludes.
His name proves it; his mother’s name proves it ; his three sisters, his four brothers, his two wives, his son, his marshals, his exploits. all prove it. It is proved, moreover, by his birthplace; by the regions whence we are told, he came before entering on his career of dominion; by the time he employed in traversing those regions; by the coun tries where he prevailed, by those where he succumbed; and by the place where he vanished, pale and discrowned ‘
It has, then, been proved that the supposed hero of our century is nothing more than an allegorical personage, deriving his attributes from the sun. It follows that Napoleon Bonaparte, of whom so much has been said and written, never even existed ; and this fallacy, into which so many people have fallen headlong, arises from the amusing blunder of mistaking the mythology of the nineteenth century for history.
So, remember, my fellow enfants de la patrie: he’s fantasy. Sigmar. The Emperor. Darth Vader. Forget him and paint dinosaurs instead. They’re more historic than this Ghost of Christmas Past… 🙂
2 thoughts on “The Truth: Napoleon Was A Hoax”
Thank you for sharing!
A marvellous parody.
Sadly, too many believe such solid ‘evidence’ on other matters or import. How does it go in ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’? “That was easy, said Man, who then went on to prove that white was black and then got run over at the next zebra crossing!”